by Kaylee Ririe

Lately, I have been wrestling at a crossroad in my life; one of those times when you feel you’ve exhausted every avenue and none of them is right. Over and over I keep returning to the same question: “So what do I do now?” As a kid I never thought one of my biggest trials of faith would be deciding what to do with my life. However, having to repeatedly “go back to the drawing board” has become very frustrating and discouraging.

Having already explored all of the logical paths, I’ve now started thinking outside the box, which opens up some interesting possibilities. It has also helped me relate to Nephi as he must have felt making his way back into Jerusalem — yet again — to get those brass plates.

How often do we find ourselves in this same basic situation? How often have you been driving to some specific building. Off in the distance the destination is clearly visible; yet, try as you may, no road will take you there.

That’s me right now. My “Laman and Lemuel” side murmurs constantly. “I’m wasting my time.” “Why doesn’t anything ever work out for me?” “My aspirations are too high; things would be easier if I just settled and got on with my life.” Taken one at a time, these arguments are easy enough to counter. However, after each setback they come in greater intensity until a they form a barrage of negative thoughts.

As a missionary, at these times I would think of 1 Nephi 3:7, “I will go and do the thing which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” In my youthful zeal that was more than sufficient motivation to persevere. But as my options seem to be narrowing, I’ve had to struggle to maintain my optimism.

In desperation I asked for a father’s blessing and immediately thought, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” Revelation– the rock, Christ declared, upon which He would build His church. That’s what I have been missing.

In this glorious dispensation of the fullness of times, when every worthy male can be endowed with the power of God on earth, when the Lord’s prophet speaks and the world can listen, when the heavens are open and the famine of hearing the Word is at an end, I have still overlooked this supernal gift.

Is it because it is so easily accessible that I didn’t seek out the Lord’s counsel right away? Unfortunately, the old adage is too often true; that which is obtained too easily is esteemed too lightly. Church history is replete with stories of people who sought after truth for years, lifetimes even. When they encountered the restored gospel they were as the merchant seeking goodly pearls [Matt 13:45-46]; they gave all they had for the blessings of the Lord. These stalwart souls understood what a treasure the gospel is and they toiled to create an environment where their children could freely enjoy it.
Personally, I have a rich heritage of devoted, selfless people sacrificing for my benefit. Seeing the price that was paid so that I could grow in the strength of the gospel from my infancy, why did I put off receiving a blessing? How many other blessings am I living without merely because of my own slothfulness? In what other areas am I, like Paul, needlessly kicking against the pricks?

Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us; it’s a perfect plan. His plan takes in to account talents and weaknesses as well as our own righteous aspirations. Most importantly, His plan will draw us along a path of usefulness that leads to the Celestial Kingdom. His individual plan for each of us is what He is — perfect. We may think the timing is off or that we could really be happier doing something else; but it’s not and we wouldn’t be. It is, however, up to us to determine to trust Him.