by Shannon Miller

As a stay-at-home mom of two young children, the phrase “parenting is a sacred calling” isn’t always comforting. The never-ending dishes, vacuuming, and pulling apart fighting children seem anything but sacred. As I was feeling unsettled and unsure about my decision to stay at home, I turned to the scriptures. I found that studying the scriptures increased my desire to teach and be patient with my children.

Put God First

“Love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind.” (Matt 22:38) If parents put their child before God, their priorities may become distorted and out of focus. A father who works long hours in order to buy the things his children believe would make them happy, sacrifices the time he spends bonding with his children. But when parents’ eyes and hearts are focused on God, they learn to emulate his patience and love. All other responsibilities fall into place and families are blessed for keeping Christ in their life.

Teach Gospel Principles

“I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.” D&C 93:40 Is it possible for a child to learn about right and wrong when he resides in a family that lives “in the middle” so to speak, not doing evil, but not learning about Christ? I think not. A child living in a home where gospel principles are not discussed will have no means to learn them. Therefore when a choice is placed before him, he will not know how to use his agency. Such a child is easily swayed by Satan. But a child living in a home where gospel principles are taught will learn about right and wrong choices. When faced with temptation he will have the knowledge to exercise his free agency.

The Gift of the Age of Accountability

The Lord has given parents a wonderful gift: children are innocent and pure until an age of accountability. “And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion… that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in the Christ, the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents.” D&C 68:25 (Italics added)

Teaching our children gospel principles needs to be done before the age of accountability. Until that time a child is sin-free. Merlin R. Lybbert explained, “This is a protected time for parents to teach the principles and ordinances without interference from Satan.” It is so important to teach our children when they are young! If we do not, they will be vulnerable to Satan’s temptations as soon as they reach accountability. Children under eight are not sinners. Their wrong actions are a result of not being fully taught or imitating a bad example they may have seen, not sin.(1)

Know Your Children

In Alma chapters 36-42, Alma speaks with each of his children, addressing them separately.(2) To Helaman he gives the plates and commands him to keep a record. To Shiblon he warns against pride for his wisdom and spirituality. To Corianton he warns against immorality and teaches repentance.

Alma knew his children’s strengths and weaknesses. He took time to talk to them individually. Isn’t this a smart way to parent? Know your children, their likes and dislikes and who their friends are. Each child is different, wouldn’t it be helpful to know what each of your children’s struggles are so you can give specific encouragement and council?

Bear Your Testimony

When Alma the younger is relating his conversion to his son Helaman, he says, “…while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins; behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ.” (Italics added) Alma, in his time of need, heard the voice of his father’s prophesies. He was able to grab hold of that thought and knowing his father’s testimony helped him through the harrowing experience.

Don’t deny your children your testimony. Something riveting occurs when a parent looks his child in the eyes and bears his testimony. It may feel awkward but if you pray for opportunities to share with your children they will arise. And perhaps like Alma, when your child is out with friends or in a time of need, he or she might hear your voice testifying of Christ. Give your children something to hold on to, to help them through their needful times.

Although not always filled with moments of glory, parenting is a job second to none. When we live close to the Lord, we will have joy in raising our children. We can understand their innocence and the feelings of Jesus when he said, “Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for such is the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:14)

Resources
(1) Merlin R. Lybbert, Special Status of Children, Ensign May 1994
(2) Geri Brinley, The Book of Mormon As a Guide for Parents, Ensign July 1988