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Jun 2006 Issue
by Amanda Hughes
Recently I found myself studying the painting which illustrates the story of Jesus and the young rich man written of in Matthew 19. Although the rich man had followed all the commandments since his youth, he was unwilling to give up his wealth to follow the Savior. As I studied the young man’s face, I noticed how sad he looked and wondered what he was thinking as he walked away from the Savior. I felt that he must not have yet learned that riches and material goods do not bring true happiness.
That lesson was one I only recently learned myself. Throughout most of my life, my motto with regard to spending was, “Like it? Buy it!” I knew all about budgeting and the need for saving, including the prophet’s counsel on the subject, but having the things I wanted always seemed to take precedence over everything else.
When I married an accountant several years ago, my spending habits put a strain on our marriage. Even though I understood the budget my husband and I agreed upon, I couldn’t make myself stick to it. What made matters truly difficult in our marriage was that my husband didn’t understand my compulsion to spend; worse, I couldn’t explain it to him because I didn’t understand it myself.
This all changed, however, with a simple school assignment. As a counseling student at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, I was required to take a course on addictions. One requirement for the course was that each student create an “addiction contract” in which we agreed to give up one thing of our choosing for the duration of the semester. At first I couldn’t think of anything that I could give up, but after some thought, I resolved to quit shopping.
I had thought that the assignment would be an easy one, but only a few days into the semester, I found myself struggling with the terms of my contract. I frequently wanted to go shopping and often found myself thinking longingly about items I wanted.
After a few weeks, however, I began noticing a trend in my urges to shop. I discovered that whenever I was feeling down or having a bad day, the urge to spend money worsened. I also realized those times in the past when I felt sad, lonely, or depressed, I had always gone shopping. After reflecting on these patterns, I began to see that I had subconsciously equated having material things with happiness. The truth was, however, that whenever I spent money to lift my mood, I would get a temporary high, followed by the same depressed feelings I had felt before I bought anything at all.
Once I made these connections, keeping the contract became easier. When I felt myself wanting to shop, I would do something else to boost my spirit. I found myself reading more and studying harder in school. My relationship with my husband immediately improved. As we were able to set some money aside for savings and easily pay for unexpected expenses, I finally realized what a relief it was to be free from debt. Best of all, I was a happier person, knowing that I was disciplining myself in a healthy way.
Everyone who knew about the contract wondered what would happen to my spending once the class was over. However, after the contract expired, I found that I no longer had the need to buy things for myself because I had learned that material things do not equal happiness. It has been six months since my contract ended, and I am still going strong. When I see needless things that I want, I simply tell myself, This object will not make me happier. My focus is now on seeking after things that bring true happiness.
Reflecting back on the story of the young rich man and the Savior, I still wonder if it would have ended differently if the rich man really knew that riches do not equal happiness. Regardless of the story’s ending, I know that we will find true happiness as we change our hearts to seek the Savior instead of worldly possessions.
Amanda Hughes is a member of the Meadows 1st Ward, Las Vegas Meadows Stake./em>
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