by Pamela Smith

Young women who choose to place their out-of-wed-lock babies for adoption, as well as those who decide to single-parent, are who I work with in my church assignment. I am the Green Valley Stake Birth-Parent Representative for LDS Family Services; and so it is my privilege to step into the lives of these girls at a most crucial time.

I hope I can express the admiration and awe I feel toward these young women who have the faith to follow our prophet and to choose adoption. As a mother myself, of two sons who were difficult to come by (we struggled with infertility), I’ve experienced the processes of pregnancy and birth. They can be overwhelming when one is married with a loving and stable husband, let alone young, single and unprepared.

This is why I (and my counterparts in every other stake in this valley) have been given the assignment to offer support to these young women. We help with transportation to doctor’s appointments, group support meetings (LDS Family Services offers a weekly Birthmother Support Group which meets every Wednesday, from 3:30 until 5 p.m. at 513 S. 9th Street, LV), or just offer a listening ear.

One of the most difficult things I’ve had to do is watch young women’s lives crumble because society today has sold them a bill of goods regarding pregnancy and parenting — that her child doesn’t really need a father; that a baby will provide her with the love she so desires; and that there’s adequate government help out there that will meet her many needs.

The fact remains that the number one indicator of poverty in the life of a female in the U.S.A. today is teenage single-parenting. And I can personally testify of the true bondage in which those who choose to single-parent are held.

They will experience lost opportunity for schooling, loss of income potential, and lost opportunities to date and find a stable partner, not to mention the innumerable lost opportunities for the child’s well-being and development. These losses will almost guarantee they live at poverty level for most of their child-rearing years.

Conversely, for those who choose adoption, an entirely different future is possible. These young women have every opportunity for a new beginning. Their opportunities for education, for maximizing income, for true choice of career path, and for dating and stable marriage are reachable.

In addition, they offer their baby the blessing of a two-parent family who have longed for a child and are prepared and anxious to parent. 100% of children adopted through LDS Family Services are sealed to an eternal family. But all these blessings come after the trial of faith, just as the greatest blessings always have.

The girls whom I’ve had the privilege to work with are truly my heroes. I stand in awe of their love and faith in choosing adoption for their beloved babies. I’ve come to understand that the concept of adoption is designed by God for the ultimate happiness of His children, to allow families to be formed, and to turn the pain of one into the incredible joy of another.

A young woman’s placing a child for adoption — laying down her child’s life into the hands of another for the benefit and blessing of the child — truly qualifies her for the Savior’s admonition to us all. “Greater Love Hath No Young Woman” than to choose adoption for her child.

There is an LDS Family Services Representative like me in your stake, wherever you reside in the Las Vegas Valley. We’ve also been given the charge to serve non-members within our stake boundaries and offer them the same love and care we give our own. If we can be of service to you or someone you know, please contact Bobbi Turner at 385-1072 or go to www.itsaboutlove.org to learn more about adoption.

As the First Presidency has counseled, “When a man and woman conceive a child out of wedlock, every effort should be made to encourage them to marry. When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely due to age or other circumstances, unwed parents should be counseled to place the child for adoption through LDS Family Services to ensure that the baby will be sealed to temple-worthy parents.

“Adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses both the birth parents and the child in this life and in eternity. Birth parents who do not marry should not be counseled to keep the infant as a condition of repentance or out of a sense of obligation to care for one’s own. Unwed parents are not able to provide the blessings of the sealing covenant. Further, they are generally unable to provide a stable, nurturing environment which is so essential for the baby’s well-being. Unmarried parents should give prayerful consideration to the best interests of the child and the blessings that can come to an infant who is sealed to a mother and father.” (Letter to Bishops from the First Presidency –Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson and James E. Faust, June 26, 2002.)

“Adults need to understand, and our children should be taught, that private choices are not private; they all have public consequences.

James E. Faust, April 1987 General Conference, Ensign, May 1987, p. 80.