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Oct 2006 Issue
by Tina Scott
“Where do you work?” is a familiar question from people I meet.
“I’m a housewife.”
“Oh.” is the standard reply as they shake their heads and walk away.
No, wait! I want to chase after them and explain myself.
“I have a job. I run my own business!” I want to cry out.
I’d like them to understand I don’t fit the stereotype that most women nowadays have “a job” outside the home. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of jobs, but they’re not seen as real work. If I had an income, the doubting masses would nod their heads in amazement at my talent and stamina.
My first job in the morning is serving as an alarm clock. For some reason, none of my seven children can hear the incessant buzzing of their own alarm. It’s up to me to help them rise and shine. My older children, a little on the stubborn side, sometimes refuse to get up. When this is the case, all I have to do is mention my Dad’s use of what I lovingly refer to as the water alarm. They jump out of bed, ready to start the day.
Next, I’m the short-order cook, ever in search of ways to feed my family nutritious and pleasing meals. Cold cereal is on every fine restaurant’s breakfast menu, but we also serve waffles, pancakes, eggs any type, or French toast.
For dinner, I transform into Master Chef. I am so talented in the kitchen that night after night, I can please nine or more different palates with a single meal; something seldom seen in public restaurants.
In my role as Life-Skills Trainer, I often employ my children to help with the mundane aspects of this home business such as dusting, vacuuming, laundry, and dishes. I’m generous in my pay too; I give them a full half of my monthly salary of praise, hugs and kisses. Somehow it never seems to be enough.
The pantry doesn’t stock itself, so as an Inventory Engineer, I shop for bargains at the local grocery store. I regularly buy whole vanloads of groceries only to have them consumed in less than a week.
As the Food Preservation Specialist, I find inexpensive items in bulk. I turn these into lavish creations such as Zucchini Relish and Honey Plum Sauce. As the FPS, I also bottle my own chicken and beef for hot summer days when the Master Chef has a day off; a must when healthy appetites abound.
I’ve also discovered my talent as a Fashion Consultant. If I pick out an outfit, or say one is cute, I know without a doubt that none of my kids will like it– at least not when they’re between the ages of five and twenty.
This knowledge has come in quite handy. While shopping for school clothes, all I have to do is pick up something expensive and admire it. I know I’ll never have to buy it.
On a daily basis, I’m the Resource Engineer, helping find lost socks and homework. I also locate items that were actually put in their proper place. It seems I’m the only one who knows where things belong.
I’m also a Nurse, doling out bandages and first-aid advice even when the wound is so small I have to don glasses to see it.
My most dreaded role is Exterminator. I have a true aversion to bugs, yet I’m the one my children come to when there are six or eight legged creatures lurking about.
When my husband is gone, (he’s the executive director of this business of mine) I’m the sole Enforcer of homework, rules, and bedtime.
My job description goes on and on; it’s demanding, and when people drop their heads and walk away, I know that I don’t deserve their shame. I work hard.
No matter that my job doesn’t appear glamorous, my goal is a worthy one: I’m the Building Engineer for an eternal family.
Tina Scott is a wife and mother and lives in the Thatcher 7th Ward, Thatcher Arizona Stake.
