by Danielle Ellis

When my first baby was a newborn, I learned a great lesson. A dear friend who taught elementary school was in between babysitters for her 13-month-old son. She asked if I could I watch him during the day for a week. She was a dear friend, and her little boy was a sweet angel. Still, I found a difference in my feelings for him compared to my own baby.

It was then that I realized a great truth: Mothers love their own children best because of the unique bond they share. It is a union shared through physical and spiritual connection, a deep sense of responsibility, and ultimately, eternal ties.

Nobody else loves my children the way I do because they are mine. I have bought them with a price. I am motivated to do my best for them because I want them to succeed, now and forever.

Ten years on into my mothering career, with five children, I have a much keener understanding of the love and sacrifices that are all in a day’s work as a mother. And I feel, in the deepest part of my soul, that motherly love is like divine love. When we see how the two dovetail together, we can elevate our understanding of both. Then we can see the holiest essence of our connection to our children, and how we all can and should relate to God.

Please know that I am talking about an ideal template, whose understanding can help us be better mothers and grow closer to God. This is about seeing divinity in the mechanics of motherhood, not having guilt over the specifics. The path of motherhood involves many curve balls. Enough said.

Mother/Child Bond

Mothers and their babies share a physical connection like no other. As women’s health expert Dr. Christiane Northrup says, “Our mother provides us with our first experience of nurturing…. Our cells divided and grew to the beat of her heart” (as quoted in I Am a Mother, p. 58).

Before birth, women are one with their babies. A mother’s body nourishes her baby automatically and perfectly. After birth, a baby is dependent entirely on its mother.
Everyone else is great for fun and diversion, but mom is the one source who can fix thirst, hunger, fatigue, fright or hurt with only the gear provided by nature.

Likewise, we are invited to “be one” with the Savior. We are to taught to rely completely on Him “who is mighty to save” (2 Nephi 31:19), because he is the “author and finisher of our faith” (Moroni 6:4).

He created us, He formed the foundation of our faith, He perfects us, He saves us.

Our dependence on Jesus Christ is the natural graduation from our dependence on our mothers. Our perfect faith in Him and connection to Him are the outgrowth of the nurturing provided to us by our mothers.

The bond between a mother and her child is exclusive. Scientists have found that newborn babies recognize and prefer their own mother’s milk to another woman’s. Newborns even prefer the smell of their own amniotic fluid, since the sense of smell is working long before birth.

Our connection to the Lord goes back even further. As Jehovah told Jeremiah, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5).
The Lord knows us personally. He knows our specific mission in coming to this earth. He has chosen each of us, over any other, for what we are ordained to do. Little children turn to their mothers for guidance. As we grow, God is the one to whom we should turn for guidance.

Significant Gifts

The act of bringing forth a child is an incredible gift. It is also a sacrifice. Perhaps we know beforehand that it will be uncomfortable, or painful, or difficult. But nothing can prepare a woman for actually going through it.

Perhaps the Savior felt the same way about atoning for our sins. He knew what was ahead, but going through it tested every ounce of strength He possessed. It was almost more than He, God, could bear. “Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (D&C 19:19).

As I researched my delivery options for this last baby, I spoke with midwife Kaye Bullock.
Concerned about the pain of delivery, I asked her what my options were. She said something that pierced my heart. “Not all pain needs to be avoided. The Savior didn’t have opiates on the cross. He experienced the pain of his sacrifice for us.”

As I have now discovered, the greater the sacrifice to obtain a gift, the more we appreciate it. I know exactly what it took to deliver this most recent little baby. And I know how I feel about her.

I can compare that, in some small way, for how the Savior must feel about me, having suffered and bled for me, that He might ransom me from my sins, that I might live with Him again. Oh, how that binds my soul to Him in gratitude!

Breaking Up

Nature’s design is for mothers and babies to be together. As any nursing mother can attest, mothers need their babies as much as babies need their mothers. If they are apart, it’s not for long!

Jehovah made it clear He has the same close tie to His people: “Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee” (Isaiah 49:15). He needs us. We need him. He will never forget us. Never.

Yet, we can get away. We can separate mothers from their babies if we introduce gimmicks: pacifiers, bottles and babysitters. They are a temporary fix, but they break the pattern of mother as the source of comfort, no matter the problem.

The parallel for adults is that we use all kinds of gimmicks to pacify our needs, from food to drugs to compulsive behaviors of every kind. What we need instead is real communion with the Savior. We who are “heavy laden” need Him, and He will give us rest. (Matt. 11:28).

Nobody else loves me the way the Savior does because I am His. He has bought me with a price. He is motivated to do His best for me because He wants me to succeed, now and forever. He loves me “unto the end” (John 13:1).