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Apr 2008 Issue
By Nettie H. Francis
“Abracadabra…poof!” What if these magical words, said with the wave of a wand over your home, could instill good manners in your children, insure healthful eating habits and strengthen family ties? Most of us wouldn’t hesitate to cast such a spell. However, while we don’t have a magic wand, there is still a formula for enjoying these benefits: Have a regular family mealtime. Studies show that families who eat together on a consistent basis enjoy nutritional, academic, social and emotional advantages. In addition, recent talks by general authorities of the church have stressed this vital family tradition.
Despite the well-documented benefits of family mealtime, dinnertimes at my home sometimes border on the hilarious. “Time to eat,” I call, and then the game begins, rounding up all eight of us to the table. As soon as the last little behind is sitting in a chair and we are bowing our heads for prayer…the phone rings! Up I jump to quickly answer it, and then sit down again for a blessing on the food.
Then up again to get the sippy cup I forgot for the baby, then down to start serving out food.
Then up again to cut everybody’s potatoes, then down to serve my own plate—but no! Someone needs their bread buttered, or a drink of water, or…can I finally take a bite of my own meal? My fork is halfway to my mouth, when… “Mama, I have to go to the bathroom!” So it’s off to the potty with my toddler, and then back to the table again.
By now I’m anxious to eat, but, “Mama, can I have some more please…” and so the meal goes. Now, lest you think that my husband eats without interruption, be assured that he is a great help at mealtime. But he’s only home for some meals, so mostly I fend for myself. And, despite the difficulties of enjoying a meal with a young family, I have been assured that mealtime will only become more complex as my children grow to teenagers.
However, in spite of the sometimes strenuous effort of eating together, the benefits are priceless. One of these benefits is good nutrition. A Harvard medical study (published in the March 2000 issue of Archives of Family Medicine) indicated that families who eat together generally consume more fruits and vegetables and less junk food. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, in his October 2007 Conference address, stressed that eating family meals together has been associated with children’s academic and psychological abilities. Perhaps even more important than the nutritional and intellectual advantages, however, are the emotional benefits of eating together. “There is a relationship between the love in a home and the richness of the family table,” writes Dolores Curran in her book Traits of a Healthy Family (Ballantine Books, 1983).
However, with ever-increasing demands on families, what is the magic formula for making mealtimes successful? Here are some suggestions to “test taste.”
Order In The Kitchen
When children are young, establish a mealtime structure. Assign places at the table, start with a blessing, and teach children to excuse themselves, chew with their mouths closed, and eat what they are served. We have our children try every dish on the table. This standard has helped them become pleasant eaters and be polite when eating at other people’s homes.
Flavor to Taste
Customize mealtime to fit your family’s needs. When I was growing up, my family chose to make breakfast our meal of the day. With a Dad who worked evenings, family dinnertime wasn’t a consistent option. So we all arose early in the morning and ate breakfast together.
Find a solution that works for your family’s schedule.
Delete Distractions
A study done at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, found that nearly half of dinners eaten by 4th, 5th and 6th graders were eaten while watching TV. TURN THE TV OFF! DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE! These may be the only few minutes you actually spend together as a family during the day. Consider this time holy and guard it as such.
A Training Table
Mealtime is a great opportunity to teach children cooking and clean up responsibilities. Assign kitchen chores both before and after a meal, like helping with dinner, setting the table, washing dishes, and sweeping the floor. Remember, you are raising future missionaries, husbands and wives.
Plan Ahead
With a little forethought, even days packed full of appointments can afford a family mealtime. The crock-pot is a wonderful invention; so are oven timers and other appliances that warm food by the clock. Fill your freezer full of healthful meals to use when time is short. If the entire family will be at a sports practice, take a picnic, or join a working parent at the office on their dinner break.
Add Some Spice
Surprise your family by doing something different. Fix an elegant dinner. Put a love note on everyone’s plate. Invite family members to bring a poem or short story to share during the meal. Or, simply light a candle and play some soft music. The Bowden family in Bozeman, Montana recites a verse of poetry or scripture before each meal. The Townsend family in American Fork, Utah makes birthday meals special by using small trinkets or photos of the birthday child as a centerpiece.
Enjoy the Magic
No matter how stressful the day is, once we are all sitting at the dinner table, talking and laughing, our family troubles seem to melt away. There is something magical about sharing food and sharing feelings in a comfortable atmosphere. Sister Bonnie D. Parkin noted in her February 2006 Worldwide Leadership Training address, “The dinner table is a place to connect with each other, share our daily activities, listen to and encourage each other, and even laugh together. “ With some creativity and a sincere effort, you can keep mealtime family time. The benefits will be priceless, almost like magic.
