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Jun 2008 Issue
by Jonathan H. Westover
As presiding patriarch of the home, fathers have the weighty responsibility to lead the family in righteousness in five key areas of personal development: Physical; Social; Intellectual; Emotional; and Spiritual.
I have learned many important lessons in these areas from my own dad. There were times, particularly during my teenage years, when I did not fully appreciate all that my dad was trying to do for our family. However, I can now appreciate my dad’s efforts, and work to emulate his good examples.
Physical Development
Fathers can help their children develop good physical habits, develop a strong work ethic, and reinforce good behavior. I remember playing basketball with my dad in the driveway, catch in the backyard and Dad teaching me how to hit a baseball. He cheered me on through all the scouts and sports teams of youth. At home, we worked in the yard together and did chores. We had a family paper route and other jobs, but the lesson was learned — work, in whatever form, is important.
Social Development
Another important component to any child’s development is his ability to understand social situations and appropriately interact with those around him. My dad encouraged me to get involved in extracurricular activities at school and in the community. He supported me in community theater and choir productions. He pushed me to get involved in school clubs and sports and family events, which provided ample opportunities for social growth. Additionally, my father trained all of us from an early age to be amateur behavioral scientists, always seeking to understand social issues and explore why people behave the way they do. This helped me to look at the world and my interactions with others in a new, and often instructive, light.
Intellectual Development
Regardless of formal education level, all fathers can be an important example of the importance and value of life-long learning and can be actively involved in the education of their child. My parents were involved in my various school projects and my academic progression. My father read my papers and provided feedback to help me improve my writing and logical thinking. He engaged me in debates on various issues and tried to get me to develop my critical thinking skills.
Even now, as I am married with my own children, I talk weekly with my father, often discussing components of my continuing education. We discuss things like professional goals and career trajectory. My father’s efforts have helped me to develop important skills and gain an education that enables me to provide for me family in a satisfying way.
Emotional Development
As children grow up, they face new varieties of emotional stressors in their life. It may start with the anxiety of that first day at school, the challenge of seeking acceptance and making new friends, and progress into the common frustrations and insecurities common in the teenage years. How children deal with these various stressors and learn to understand, manage, and control their emotions is an important component of their personal development.
My father, a practicing family therapist, always encouraged my siblings and me to identify what we were feeling, understand the emotion’s sources, and seek a proactive and healthy outlet for our emotions. He often provided important emotional support in times of trial. While on my mission, struggling to learn a difficult language and trying to learn how to be an effective missionary in an unfamiliar culture, my dad was there through weekly letters, to encourage me, provide insight, and inspire me.
Spiritual Development
Arguably the most important lessons a father can teach his children are spiritual in nature. My dad helped me develop my own personal testimony, learn to recognize the promptings of the spirit, and become spiritually prepared to one day serve a mission, marry in the temple, and lead my own family in righteousness.
I remember one-on-one discussions about seminary, church lessons and my personal scripture study. He taught me from a very young age that it is not enough to merely follow church leaders, but that I needed to always follow the example of Nephi and seek out the Lord to know the truth for myself, and then follow. I know that I am a better man for all he taught me.
Model of Perfect Fatherhood
I am very grateful for the model of perfect fatherhood that our Father in Heaven offers to us. We are blessed with the opportunity to receive personal guidance and strength in our parenting. Indeed, we should always follow the admonition of Christ when he said, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:36).
We have been told that through revelation and the priesthood we might have “power to do many mighty works in [God’s] name” (Alma 19:4). This applies to our priesthood and personal stewardships. If men will look to Christ as they lead their families, and strive to align our will with the will of God, we can accomplish all that the Lord has in store for each of us.
Jonathon Westover is a member of the Lehi 22nd Ward, Lehi Utah West Stake.
