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Sep 2008 Issue
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By Lin Floyd
Retirement brings with it many challenging lessons. One of these is to learn how to survive being together 24/7 with a newly retired spouse. That’s a little too much togetherness for most of us. I discovered this when my husband retired several years ago. Suddenly I found myself with another adult by my side during the day as I went grocery shopping, a former solitary duty of mine. Previously, I’d enjoyed leisurely strolling up and down the aisles making up my menu as I selected produce, meat or other commodities. Now I suddenly had a retired engineer hubby with a linear mind making comments like: Do we really want to eat that? or See how much hydrogenated oil or added sugar that has!
That’s enough extra feedback to bring on a guilt trip in no time at all for a creative shopper like me. I found myself analyzing every purchase as to its ingredients. Needless to say, though I learned a lot about nutrition, it didn’t take long for me to figure out ways to go to the grocery store alone while my husband was otherwise occupied. But the problem was––how do you find something of interest for the newly released 9 to 5 worker to pursue who has few hobbies?
His repeated question, after he retired, was a new one for me. What are you going to do now? I had enjoyed a somewhat flexible schedule at home during my husband’s previously tightly scheduled work days. Employed part time as a community school coordinator and with the youngest child about to fly the nest, I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to; whether it was household chores, shopping, or working on some of my hobbies. Now retired, I felt that I needed to account for every minute of my life or find a new hobby for my hubby to get him involved and out of my hair.
What a perfect time––retirement is to learn new things, try out new hobbies or volunteer to use some of your pre-retirement skills. Schooling, like the community education program that I had been responsible for, is available in most towns and can hold the answers for learning new skills or developing new hobbies.
There are classes in computers: making a webpage, blogging or using the Internet for emailing; opportunities to gain new skills in woodworking, art or music; or become more physically fit with golfing, hiking, rock climbing, swimming, etc. There is no limit to the variety of courses available to satisfy any interest and expand your horizons.
But beware, while it’s fun to have separate hobbies or activities, be sure to find some activity you can also do together. Otherwise, you may become a golf widow or a quilting widower. We discovered a local Rock Art group led by a retired archeologist that meets monthly with lectures and field trips with other like-minded individuals, both married and single, to explore local petroglyphs and pictographs. Socializing as well as learning makes this a fun activity to be looked forward to as a couple now that we have more free time. For the single retirees, new hobbies or clubs can lead to opportunities to make new friends and enrich your new lifestyle.
Retirement should be a time to rejuvenate and enjoy your remaining years not just sit back in your recliner, turn on the TV and vegetate until you develop some disease or die of boredom. You could volunteer. Check out organizations needing help in your town or city including public schools, hospitals and care centers.
The LDS Church has a great humanitarian and missionary program needing willing hands with expertise and talents just like yours. How about family history work? Research and temple work is something that always needs doing. Writing your biography is a way of passing on wisdom and insights from living a long life to your family and most especially to your grandchildren. There’s always travel opportunities combined with learning through Elder Hostel or other tour groups.
What did my husband find to fill his free hours? He is currently designing a small house boat on his computer to build in our garage. This will take many years to complete and keep him very busy. In the meantime, I’ve gathered a group of women into a Writer’s WORDshop who want to improve their writing. As I’m teaching them, it’s motivating me to publish more articles and write a column for a local newspaper. We will create a book with a collection of our poems and articles for family and friends for the holidays. All this learning is taking place because my husband retired and asked, What are you going to do now?
