By Nettie H. Francis

The song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads” (D&C 25:12). If music brings blessings upon our heads, I need as many as possible, especially in my role as a parent. I am not a master musician, but I have learned to use music on my quest to becoming a master mother.

A few years into motherhood it occurred to me that some of the most difficult parenting times (when I’m most likely to lose my cool and my kids are most likely to lose their privileges) are transitional times. Gathering the family to dinner, sending children to bed or getting eight fully-dressed people into the car in time for church are prime opportunities for tempers to run short, on both parents and children. Music can be like oil on our family gears to help them run more smoothly during such stressful situations.

In addition, music—both secular and spiritual—can be a powerful motivational tool as well, leading to less coercing on our part, and more cooperation on our children’s part. It also brings a feeling of peace into our homes and soothes tempers and transitions.

Music is not only effective as a parenting tool, but also as a teaching aid. In fact, studies show that young children learn best through their sense of hearing. Also, children remember only 10% of messages that are spoken, but 90% of messages put to music. And, if children can sing a song, they retain 99% of the message they sing.

Music is also emotionally stimulating, and we tend to believe that which we sing. Hymns, primary songs and patriotic tunes instill values in us that can be life-changing. Music is powerful, and parents should take advantage of that power to teach their children the most important lessons of life.

One of our favorite resources for children is Brite Music, written by Janeen Brady and available at britemusic.com. Brite Music (on CD or cassette) teaches concepts like self-esteem, obedience, safety and dependability. It has become an integral part of our family culture, and we highly recommend it to other families as one of the greatest parenting tools we have found.

We have experienced success using both primary songs and secular music to teach and build our family.
Following are examples of how we use specific songs from the Primary Children’s Songbook, and other general music in our home.

For Health and Strength, p. 21: We sing this song to call our children to a meal. Instead of yelling for everyone to gather, we begin singing, and as family members hear the music, they find their place at the table and join in the song. This has also taught our children how to sing a “round.”

Family Prayer, p.189: This song invites our children to family prayer. My husband or I begin singing, “Let us gather in a circle…” as we kneel in the living room, and as others hear the song, they gather and sing with us. There are three beautiful verses in this song, and we don’t mind singing through all of them until everyone in the house has heard the music and is reverently kneeling with us. Singing has especially helped our youngest children to be very quiet as we begin our prayer.

Nephi’s Courage, p.120: When our young children have a hard time obeying, we sing the chorus to this song, “I will go, I will do…” and gently take them by the hand and help them do as they were asked.

Bedtime Blues: Moms live for bedtime, while children may try to avoid it. Rather than turning sleepy time into a power struggle, we offer our children a chance to listen to a favorite CD or cassette as they go to bed. Music makes bedtime more attractive to them; but the greatest bonus of music at night is that messages children hear before they sleep are repeated in their brains seven to ten times during the night. I love to know they are falling asleep to, “Keep the Commandments,” or, “I’m a VIP.”

Traveling Tunes: Driving around town or on vacation with restless children can shorten tempers. Rather than turn on a DVD while we drive, we listen to music, which actually stimulates brain activity while television decreases it. And, singing together on the road is always a bonding experience.

Musical Morning: We begin each morning by playing the piano. When our sleeping children hear the music, they wake up and gather in the living room for scripture study. Starting with music helps us to open our day on a positive note.