The Blessing of Friends

Nov 2008 Issue

by Mark Cordner

My wife often reminds me that life’s great task is “clasping hands and making it back home together.” As much as that may betray her passion for pre-school age children, it also reveals a true principal for those who understand that none of us can succeed entirely on our own. And who would want to?

Friendships are one of life’s great blessings. True friends uplift us, bear with us, and enrich our lives in countless ways.

I have the good fortune of being a twin and always having had a “side-kick.” While that presented its own set of challenges, it also gave many advantages. Unfortunately, it may have initially blinded me to the isolation some people feel whose environment or developmental circumstances restrict them from forming friendships with positive companions.

My wife and I have become very sensitive to this as we’ve learned about the challenges related to Autism – or “life on the autism spectrum” as it’s more accurately described. Those with characteristics of autism often experience what some call “mind blindness” or an inability to “read” the unexpressed social cues that constitute so much of human interaction. Consequently, these individuals tend to live their lives on the periphery of society, close to the action but never fully “fitting in” despite being very gifted in other ways. (One person “on the spectrum” describes her life as being like “an anthropologist [living] on Mars.”)

Nevadans are very fortunate to have a new resource in town: a local chapter of Best Buddies International. Since opening its office in mid-July, Jason Smith, the State Director, has already received international attention for quickly securing the largest donation in the program’s history as well as rapidly establishing contacts in many area schools.

Best Buddies was created by Anthony Kennedy Shriver of the famous Shriver family. His mother, Eunice Shriver, was the founder of Special Olympics and the family is responsible for many other charitable organizations. Best Buddies pairs “neuro-typical” individuals with those who have developmental differences, similar to a “Big Brothers / Big Sisters” program, and focuses on creating mutually enriching friendships (rather than mentoring relationships). Participants commit to weekly contact and bi-weekly, self-determined activities with their “buddy.” In addition to screening participants for eligibility in the program, Best Buddies’ staff also provides on-going support to those involved.

While creating lasting friendships of significant depth, Best Buddies simultaneously helps us see “differently-abled” individuals in a healthier light – as people with much to contribute to society and with needs every bit as “human” as each of ours.

Best Buddies program coordinator, Kayla Brown-Cestero has been working with local schools coordinating awareness efforts and establishing “student chapters” headed by the students themselves.
As you can imagine, Special Education coordinators throughout the school district are very excited about this new program as are all those who grasp its potential for good in our middle schools, high schools, and colleges.

In addition to their work within the school district, Mr. Smith and his team are in the process of hiring additional support staff and training volunteers to establish adult-Buddy programs and even “e-Buddy” relationships for those who can’t commit “in-person” time during traditional hours.

A good friend of mine, Bishop Keen Ellsworth, has told me how his wife, Sunny, created a friendship during high school with a young man who has developmental impairments – and how that friendship has lasted over the years to bless his entire family. Little do we know how “small and simple things [may bring] great things to pass.” (Alma 37:6)

Are your teenage children looking for opportunities to serve in a fun and meaningful way? Have them contact Best Buddies at (702) 822-2268 and visit their website at www.bestbuddies.org. Your entire family may be blessed by the good that comes from it.

Mark Cordner is a member of the Advisory Board for Best Buddies NV and is a Licensed Advocate of Protected Tomorrows, an international organization that provides comprehensive life planning services to address the educational, residential, financial, legal, health care, governmental benefits, employment and recreational needs of individuals with special needs. E-mail Mark at mark.cordner@gmail.com or call him at (702) 320-4451. Best Buddies offices at 500 No. Rainbow, Ste. 314. Visit www.bestbuddiesnevada.org for local information or www.bestbuddies.org to read heart-warming testimonials from participants and family members of those who have benefited from Best Buddies.