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Dec 2008 Issue
[photopress:Caroler_1208.jpg,thumb,pp_style]by Dave Ellis
Let me start off by saying that I really love Christmas music. The only problem is that I hate it too. Not the forty good songs, but the good songs that have been re-arranged and re-recorded over and over again. Really, what else can be done with the same song?
For my money (the Euro currently) you really can’t go wrong with the basics. That’s right, the Chipmunks. That never gets old… The Christmas music I like was recorded between 1930-1970.
Right now I’m listening to Bing Crosby sing White Christmas. Great original song by a great original singer. The only problem is that it’s mid-November and eighty degrees out. I’m really not in the Christmas mood when it’s this hot; maybe I should listen to the Beach Boys Christmas album.
Maybe I would like some of the new artists’ songs if they didn’t try to remake the classics.
New songs are hard to come by as every conceivable Christmas topic has been covered.
Think about it, there’s a song for holly, Christmas trees, mistletoe, wassail, yule logs and jingling bells. Frankly we are out of topics. The only thing to do would be to create new
Christmas icons. Like, say, Hammy the Christmas Ham.
Of course I’ve written a song about it.
◆ ◆ ◆ ◆
Hammy the Christmas Ham
Hammy is coming to town
He’ll never let you down
Go tell your bro and sis
Don’t worry about trichinosis
Hammy is coming one of these days
Don’t forget his delicious glaze
Chorus
Hammy, Hammy, he’s the hammiest ham
Hammy, Hammy, he’s fattier than I am
(repeat chorus until internal temperature reaches 160)
◆ ◆ ◆ ◆
OK, I’m still working on it. By the way, I retain all rights to the Hammy the Christmas Ham character and any lunch-meat related spin-off characters.
I would like some new songs to sing while caroling. This is the only time of the year where singing door to door is accepted. Go ahead, try it mid-March and see what happens. When I was a teenager we went caroling for a ward activity. We kept singing the same songs over and over again, I then decided to mix it up a bit and at the next door I started singing ‘O Tannenbaum’ and everyone else joined in.
To the untrained ear our pitch was only matched by the beauty of the native German lyrics.
To the trained ear we were mumbling, off pitch, in English, which is exactly what we were doing. We all had colds so lucky for us it sounded guttural. We decided to stick with the songs we knew, in nasally English.
So forgive me if I like the original Jingle Bells sung by Perry Como versus barking dogs (funny nonetheless); I’m a traditionalist. Maybe next year I’ll be less jaded to all of the new Christmas music out there, especially if Hammy takes off. I guess I have to wait and see in
August when they start playing the music in stores. That’s my next rant, but it will have to wait until next year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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