By Nettie H. Francis
When I was growing up, my family had a Christmas Cookie Day each December. The entire day was spent making different kinds of cookies for our neighbors and friends. We loved it!

Mama always had an assortment of sprinkles, candy, cookie cutters and frosting for us young entrepreneurs. As quickly as cookies were molded and cut, they were whisked away to the oven and replaced with fresh dough to shape, or warm cookies to frost and decorate. We made magic window cookies, gingerbread men, chocolate kiss thumbprints, cream cheese mints and many more.

The day ended with a finale of taste-testing and then delivering platefuls of our creations to the neighbors. The smell and excitement of Christmas Cookie Day was a highlight of our Christmas season. It was a fun, wonderful day, and we thought nothing more about it.

Then, one December, returning home for the holidays from college, I learned the real secret of the Christmas cookies. That year, I watched in a wave of realization as my mother spent the entire day mixing, cutting, baking, and frosting cookies while at the same time supervising small children, and finally ended the day by thoroughly cleaning her kitchen.

I had never seen this side of our Christmas Cookie Day before. It had always just been a fun day. Now I saw the day of work it was for my mother. And all she reaped from her efforts was a sore back, a kitchen floor of sticky dough, and a platter full of homemade goodies. In my philosophical, college-trained mind, none of this made sense anymore.

“Why do you do all of this work?” I asked her when the day was finished. “There’s no point to all of your effort and cleaning. We could buy cookies cheaper than we make them, counting the time you spend.”

My mother stopped washing cookie sheets, looked at me with a wise smile and said, “There are so many things I want to give all of you children, but I can’t. I wish I could give you nicer clothes, the toys you want, maybe a bedroom of your own. Money is necessary to afford those things. However, even though I don’t have money, I can spend some time and effort to give my children a good memory. And in the end, the memories will be more valuable than the toys or clothes they may have wished for.”

Her words shocked me. My mother’s motive on Christmas Cookie Day wasn’t really platefuls of goodies for the neighbors. Her motive was her children and their well-being. She wanted us to know of her love—shared through her effort and time—and take it with us by our memories of happy, warm days together.

After her explanation, I remembered other events of my childhood—picnics, hikes, family games—times when my parents went out of their way to create good memories. These simple childhood experiences were worth more to me than any brand name clothes, or other worldly items which money could have bought.

Now that I’m a mother, I often remind myself of the “Christmas Cookie Secret.” My goal during these years is nourishing my children not just with elaborate things or money, but with time and love. What our children really need is no secret. But with so many distractions competing for the attention and affection of our children, how do we give them what is most important? Here are a few sweet tips:

Traditions Build Trust

One major benefit of making Christmas cookies was the perpetuating of a family tradition.
Studies show that family traditions are not only fun, they also provide emotional security for children. When there are practices in a home that children can rely on, they will eagerly anticipate those special times and will also count on certain activities as a signal that all is well in the home. Although regular family traditions often require time and effort from exhausted parents, the stability they send to children is worth it!

Pleasure or Treasure?

Parents often feel that they must be glamorous when providing activities for their children.
They may be tempted to “buy fun,” by going to an amusement center, movie, or other costly venue to pay for their children’s entertainment. While these activities are certainly memorable once in a while, parents shouldn’t try to compete with the world by playing its game. Keep your home entertainment simple and enticing. When children have a homegrown outlook on life, they can easily see through the phony glamour of worldly pleasure, and will naturally be drawn to wholesome, fulfilling family activities, like an afternoon spent decorating cookies.

Work is Worth It

While I watched my mother make cookies, I analyzed that they would be cheaper to buy. In a world where most things can be purchased, we often trade satisfaction for convenience.
However, studies show that there is a direct relationship between investment and commitment. For example, children who grow a garden, show greater appreciation and satisfaction when consuming food at mealtime. In the same way, children who “invest” in their home and family by spending time and being involved, feel a sense of satisfaction and belonging that can’t be purchased any other way.

Plan family activities where children can participate and their help is needed. Time and effort, though not always convenient, will usually result in more valuable results than store bought stuff. And, just like with money, the higher the investment, the greater the dividends.

Now, as a mother of my own little brood, I set aside one day during each December as “Christmas Cookie Day.” As expected, by the end of that busy day I am tired, my kitchen is a mess, and there is flour in my hair. But the delicious aromas, laced with laughter and love that fill the kitchen and warm our hearts, are priceless—memories that will last forever.