By Dave Ellis
I have an old truck. I could go on about how it’s just like me, but you would be expecting that. So instead I’m going to use a chart to show the differences, just to throw you off.

Truck
• Faded paint & scratches
• Worn leather seats
• Warped dash
• Smells of spilled soda & ketchup
• Large body
• Strong engine
• Full of gas

Dave
• Bald head & scars
• Worn human seat
• No comment
• Smells of old spice deoderant
• I hate this list
• good ticker
• uh . . . .

I’m going to stop right there. I guess we are alike. Ask any man that owns a truck and there is a certain level of bonding that goes on (bondo too, if it’s old enough). I spend a good amount of time in my truck. There are traces of my history (read: fast food wrappers and old mail) in there. Plus it kind of makes me feel powerful, every time I gun the engine I’m not only wasting three gallons of gas but depleting the ozone as well.

My truck also has character. That’s how you nicely describe vehicles that are really beat up. It’s the male equivalent of sweet spirit. As in when someone asks if a guy is good looking and you say “Well, he has a lot of character.”
That’s my truck, the nice guy of vehicles.

It does run, and runs well, mostly because I’ve replaced just about everything in it. I’m at the tipping point where I don’t want to put more money into it because I’ll be replacing it soon. This has been my motto for five years. The engine is strong but the rest of the body is pretty shabby (Hey! Another similarity!) First off, you need the remote key fob to unlock the doors. The only key lock that works is the tailgate, which I have crawled through a time or two when the key fob battery dies.

Also the front doors don’t open from the inside. At first it was just the passenger door. I would have to open the door for everyone. The only problem is that the guys at work stopped going to lunch with me because it felt like a date. Now the driver door stopped working and I have to roll down my window to open the door from the outside. I should probably just leave the windows down all of the time. It sure looked cool on the General Lee (Dukes of Hazzard reference y’all). The problem is I can’t get the necessary height to jump feet first into the driver’s seat. It’s not for lack of trying. I have a dented door to prove it.

Plus the A/C doesn’t work. That is another whole article. If you have seen me driving my black truck around in the summer looking really angry you now know why. That is another whole other article too my friends. Too much to put here.

Why do I keep such a seemingly lousy car around? I would have to say that the reason cannot be measured in words, but in dollar signs: it’s paid for. It only costs me gas and a few repairs and a few hospital visits for summertime dehydration. Plus it’s my truck. It’s part of me, especially the worn seats, it’s my groove in there. Hopefully she (yes, it’s a girl) will hold on another season until I get that new car (yeah right.)