What’s in Your Motherly Crock Pot?

May 2009 Issue

By Melva Gifford
One of the most pleasant aromas of home is a meal simmering in a crock pot. Those percolating smells permeate the home for a few hours and by the time the family finally gets to eat, everyone is eager for the meal.

Many mothers and wives are excellent cooks. Women are also chefs in a different way. One of the key attributes of a mother raising her children is her opportunity to contribute to the composition of the family. To make a great meal, the chef combines different healthy and delicious ingredients in the right proportions.

When it comes to a family, mother is the main chef. Her daily input into the workings of her family influence them in the present and years into the future. Through a mother’s daily, close relationships with her children, she has the first opportunity to see her children’s strengths and weaknesses. She can then praise and teach and correct as needed to make the family “stew” great.

Think of the women you know who see the greatness in others. This ability of building and recognizing the virtues in others comes naturally to many. We each can influence how others think of themselves.
We can encourage and strengthen, or we can put them down. The type of support we give others is shown by our words and deeds.

One of mother’s jobs is to teach family members how to appreciate each other. Following are some object lessons and questions which parents may use to direct a family home evening or family devotional on this theme.

Activity 1: The Dingdong Game

Age: elementary. Supplies: fork, tomato, bell and an alarm.

Place a tomato before the family and give examples of what might be cruel things that can be said to one another. As examples are given, poke the tomato with the fork. Have another family member ding the alarm at each negative phrase. Discuss how the tomato is damaged by the fork and compare it to how we may hurt each other.

Next, Have each family member make positive statements about life or another person. For example Suzy is good at math, Bill is strong, etc. Have family members discuss honest, positive things about one another. Give each person their spotlight. Ring the bell at each phrase and discuss the happy emotions that come from positive words and actions.

Group Discussion:

1. Why does a person with high self-esteem feel happier about the world? (He feels he can accomplish challenges given him. He has been shown he has good traits so he feels valued by others.)

2. What are some of the simple, honest, phrases that can add to someone’s positive self-esteem? (Good job, thanks, I appreciate you.)

3. What are some of the phrases that could harm or lower someone’s self-esteem? (Name calling such as: You’re stupid, slowpoke or spoiled brat.) Remember to use kind words often.

Activity 2: Pressure

Age: teen-adult. Supplies: pliers, hammer or nut cracker and shelled nuts like pecans, almonds, peanuts or walnuts.

Have family members take turns cracking nuts. Have each person be very careful to crack the shell enough to bring out the flesh of the nut without hurting it. Next, crack some nuts in a way that smashes through the entire nut and destroys the flesh. Which nut is more desirable to eat; the one which is mostly intact or the one smashed up with shell?

How we treat others is like how we use a nut cracker. Are we going to hurt the nut or try to bring out its best attributes for all to enjoy?

An alternative lesson:

Supplies: glass plate, box and a treat.

In advance of the lesson, find a pretty glass plate that is expendable. You might be able to get one at a
Goodwill store. In a safe place, drop the plate on the ground so that it breaks into several pieces.
Carefully pick up the pieces and put them in a box. (One way to safely break a plate is to place it first in a box or sack before dropping it.)

At the time of the lesson put the box with broken plate on the table before the family, also have a treat. Point to the broken plate and ask a family member to put the treat on the plate. Why might they resist?

The group might discuss how the broken plate is no longer useful. How we abuse people can shatter their confidence and they may lose their full potential. We can determine, in advance, how we treat others.

Use these suggestions to help teach the concepts of speaking kindly of one another, caring for each other’s feelings and understanding that we each have a profound influence on one another and our eventual success in the world. Build each other up and enjoy a unique and wonderful “family stew!”