by Krista Ralston Oakes
For many years I lived a relatively easy life. I was born in the covenant and raised in a loving home by parents who taught me the gospel. I had a good education. I had good friends. I had talents and abilities and many opportunities to use them. I married my high school sweetheart in the Salt Lake Temple after he served an honorable mission. We easily enjoyed married life and looked forward to a bright future.

Then I encountered what seemed to be the biggest stumbling block of my young life. My parents — who were my heroes and my role models for a loving marriage — announced that their thirty-one years of marriage were ending in divorce. I grieved the collapse of something that had been so stable and sure throughout my life, and I sorrowed at the pain I witnessed in both parents.

A few years afterward, I encountered what seemed to be an even bigger stumbling block. After 11 years of marriage, most of which were spent trying to conceive a child, we lost our one and only miracle pregnancy to miscarriage. It was a time of heavy grief, and we struggled to understand why things would go so wrong when we had been trying so desperately to pursue the righteous desire for children.

Later, shortly after my thirty-eighth birthday, I encountered what seemed to be a final stumbling block. I was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme, one of the deadliest forms of brain cancer, claiming most of its victims within a year.
However, things are not always as they appear. In time I came to marvel how well each experience prepared me for the next.

For example, when my parents divorced, I evaluated my own marriage. It was happy and strong, but my husband and I decided to put more effort into nurturing our relationship, never taking it for granted. After all, if my parents weren’t immune to divorce, no one was.
Later, as the storms of infertility and miscarriage threatened to destroy our marriage, that earlier preventive maintenance gave us the ability to endure and emerge from the experience stronger than ever.

Our childless state was ultimately relieved by the miraculous adoptions of two children who belong so perfectly in our family. Meanwhile, the experience of infertility and miscarriage led to the discovery of important medical information. Without this information and subsequent intervention, I would not have survived the cancer treatments that would later become necessary. Had my prayers for a successful pregnancy been answered affirmatively, the temporary experience of childbirth would have robbed me of the greater opportunity to remain here and raise my children. I realized that the Lord knew how to bless me far beyond what I would have chosen for myself. I learned to trust in the Lord’s way, instead of my own understanding.

The devastation of my cancer diagnosis was tempered by the peace that comes from knowing that I could trust completely in the Lord in any circumstance. It became clear to me that the “stumbling blocks” in my life were actually “building blocks” — fortifications that strengthened and prepared me to withstand the adversities that lay ahead.

I came to appreciate that the Lord does consecrate our afflictions for our gain (2 Nephi 2:2). As soon as I acknowledged this, I felt like the servant of Elisha, whose eyes were finally able to see the heavenly chariots of fire offering deliverance (2 Kings 6:8-17). A fellow patient once told me that, “cancer gives more than it takes.” Indeed, I have seen for myself the abundance of blessings that have come in very unexpected ways. Any experience of adversity can “give more than it takes,” and is worthy of gratitude.

Today I have an even better life. I live in a loving home with my eternal companion and two children who have been sealed into our covenant family. I have a closer relationship with both of my parents. I have made good friends who have shared common adversity. I have talents and abilities and many opportunities to use them. I continue to learn from life under the watchful care of a loving Heavenly Father. I have cancer, but our family has witnessed the great power of prayer, and we have come to treasure each day of a life that has been extended beyond medical expectations. With a foundation of faith, strengthened one building block at a time, we have learned to enjoy life under any circumstance, and we continue to look forward with gratitude toward a bright future.