An Eight-Cow Marriage

Feb 2010 Issue

by Krista Ralston Oakes
The term “sacred cow” is figurative, but it originates from the Hindu tradition of protecting the cow as a sacred animal.

In Hinduism the cow symbolizes honored themes, including gentleness and generosity in giving more than they take. (In return for simple dietary needs, the cow provides milk, meat, and other beneficial products.) While the cow is not an object of worship, it is highly respected. Acts of kindness toward cows are considered good luck. Certain Hindu-populated nations have laws that protect cows.

As a contemporary figure of speech, a “sacred cow” is anything that is carefully guarded.

Another “cow” term is familiar in contemporary LDS society: the “eight-cow wife.” This term is recognized by anyone who has seen Johnny Lingo, a short film produced in the 1960’s by BYU’s Motion Picture Department, and adapted from the short story by Patricia McGerr. (In 2003 a feature film, The Legend of Johnny Lingo, was released.)
In the story, island trader Johnny Lingo pays an extravagant dowry of eight cows in order to win the hand of shy Mahana. Johnny Lingo’s gesture transforms Mahana into the beautiful, confident woman that Johnny saw as her potential. For those familiar with Johnny Lingo, the term “eight-cow wife” represents someone very special and fully capable of discovering their full potential.

It is possible to have an “eight-cow marriage”—one that is very special and fully capable of reaching its highest potential. Couples who are married in the temple are sealed for time and all eternity, and great promises are pronounced upon them.

The potential of an eternal marriage is wonderful beyond our mortal comprehension and deserves protection. An eight-cow marriage provides that protection with commitment and a willingness to give more than we take. An eight-cow marriage employs eight principles and practices, or “sacred cows”:

A Foundation of Faith

Shakespeare, speaking in Henry the Fifth, said, “God, the best maker of all marriages, combine your hearts in one.” An eight-cow marriage is built upon the rock of faith in Jesus Christ. It includes regular habits of family prayer, scripture study, family home evening. Spouses return often to the temple to remember the covenants that formed their marriage. Their home, whether mansion or meager, invites the Spirit at all times.

Best Friends

Eight-cow spouses are best friends to each other. They cleave to each other and none else (see D&C 42:22). Although childhood friendships may remain, and new friendships may form, there is no one else who qualifies as a “best” friend. Best friends play together, trust each other with their hopes and dreams, love each other unconditionally, and inspire each other to be their best.

Continued Courtship

After marriage, the purposes of courtship appear to be fulfilled. However, anything that grows (including relationships) will thrive when nurtured and deteriorate when neglected. Eight-cow marriages are committed (and creative) in prioritizing date nights, goodnight kisses, and other romantic gestures.

The Golden Rule

Eight-cow spouses treat each other with kindness, forgiveness, and loyalty, as they would want to be treated. They put each others’ happiness above their own. When talking to others about their spouse, they only discuss the praiseworthy. An eight-cow marriage is one that practices charity, the pure love of Christ.

High Standards

Missionaries and ecclesiastical leaders protect their callings with high standards of conduct. Eight-cow spouses do likewise. The wife drives the female babysitter home. Lunch meetings and carpools avoid even innocent pairing off. Flirting and confidence-sharing (at any level) do not stray outside the marriage.

One Flesh

In the marriage of Adam and Eve the Lord described a husband and wife as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). There is strength in approaching married life as a team, where burdens and blessings are shared equally, and “I” becomes subordinate to “we.”

An Eternal Perspective

One man spoke of his relationship with his wife, who was in a persistent vegetative state following a stroke during the birth of their child. He commented, “I look forward to the morning of the first resurrection, when we are going to take a walk together.” An eight cow marriage looks past today’s disappointments and focuses on eternal possibilities.

The Lexicon of Love

“Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” and “I love you,” are frequently spoken — with complete sincerity — in an eight-cow marriage.

These sacred cows are principles of gentleness and generosity. They offer nourishment and protection to marriage relationships. An eight-cow marriage brings more than good luck—it blesses a home and a family with happiness and infinite potential.