by Annette Lyon
In the months after high school, my church attendance must have been hard to track.
Oh, I attended. But it was the season of missionary farewells. Sometimes I attended two or three wards—just not my own. Then I had to pick a ward—my home ward, the local singles ward, or a student ward. No one tracked me one week to the next.

I remember thinking, If I wanted to go inactive, I totally could, and no one would notice.
Avoiding that outcome took good friends, a welcoming student ward, and effort. I shudder to think how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t made that effort or if I hadn’t known inside that attending was what I had to do. I could have slipped into inactivity all too easily.

But many—far too many—young women are doing just that.

In recent years, the First Presidency has stressed their concern of this Church-wide problem. They’ve even sent letters to Relief Society and Young Women presidencies, pleading for them to watch over the young women and give them a successful transition to Relief Society.

As we celebrate the “birth” of Relief Society, let’s look forward to its future members—and take care of them. Because the fact is, we’re losing way too many young women as they leave Laurels, and many never return. The young men aren’t hit so hard, not getting lost in the shuffle quite so easily. That could be because of mission preparations or several other reasons.

I personally believe that one reason is from the sense of belonging young men get with the older men from the time they’re ordained deacons. They experience combined opening exercises with all priesthood holders. From a tender age, each boy knows he belongs in a brotherhood and that some day he, too, will be a teacher, a priest, an elder, a high priest.

On the other hand, a Beehive never has a reason to feel connected to the “old ladies” in Relief Society. The sisters of the ward might as well belong to another planet as far as they’re concerned.

Below are a few things we have done in my ward over the years, coordinating between the Relief Society and the Young Women presidencies, to help the young women feel connected to the greatest sisterhood on earth. Before applying any of these ideas in your ward, be sure to talk with your bishop for approval.

Combined Opening Exercises. Follow the example of the brethren and have opening exercises together periodically. This may be impractical for every week, but you can meet as a complete group for opening exercises at least once a month. The two presidencies can trade off conducting, and the young women can stand to repeat the theme.

Include the Laurels in Some Relief Society Lessons. We chose the fourth week, with lessons from General Conference talks, for the second-year Laurels to participate in.
Those lessons tend to be a bit less doctrinally heavy than the other weeks and are easier for the instructor to relate to the young women. Have the instructor make a point of including and calling on the Laurels.

Welcome Them. If the Young Women participate in Relief Society, whether in a lesson or an activity, encourage the sisters to be warm and welcoming. Sit by them. Start up conversations. Be sure they feel loved and that they belong.

Mentors. Assign a sister in the ward to each Laurel as a mentor, friend to turn to. This gives the Laurels at least one sister in Relief Society they can feel comfortable around. Mentors make regular contact with Laurels outside church, sit next to them in lessons, invite them to activities, and learn about who they are and what they care about.

Visiting Teaching Assignments. When a Laurel is in her last year, assigning her as a visiting teacher can be useful. This is especially helpful if her companion is someone she already knows, such as a current Young Women leader or her mentor.

Combined Activities. Occasionally, Relief Society, the activities committee and Young Women leaders can plan an activity together for both organizations to attend.

Other Involvement. Whether asking a Laurel to fulfill a compassionate service assignment, teach a skill to be taught at an Enrichment activity, or something else, try to find a place where the Laurels can contribute. This way they experience firsthand how Relief Society works.

Only time will tell whether the efforts we’ve made in our ward will yield success, but we’re doing our best to keep our young women far from any cracks they could slip through.

I believe the key will be making sure they feel a belonging to the sisterhood. They must know that Relief Society isn’t just a room full of older women. That they are both loved and needed.

Then they’ll want to stick around, because they’ll know this is where they belong.