By Ken Craig
I take pride in the fact that my family is a “service-oriented” family. (If anything, then, I suppose my “taking pride” is the sin du jour in my home, and not “lack of serving.”) I currently serve as the bishop in my ward, and that’s pretty service-intensive. My wife is the mother of six, so she literally lives service from sun up to sun down.
However, somewhere there’s a disconnect with our children. They seem to feel they should be paid a handsome salary for just about any action, from chores to common courtesy.

Ergo, the other night my 12-year-old daughter, Abbie, asked me what an Agent does. I naturally assumed she had at some point overheard me refer to myself as an Insurance Agent, but I remained ever hopeful that she really wanted to know more about being a Hollywood Agent or a Sports Agent or even a cleaning agent. All of which are flashier careers than an Insurance Agent.

I gave her my brief description of how an Agent works, and assumed that was the end of her curiosity. I woke up
the next morning to find this note on my nightstand:
Dear Mr. Ken Craig,

I, Abigail Craig, am now working as Garren Craig’s agent. He requested that I send you a letter asking for a job.
This needs to be an outside job that does not include pruning or going to the neighbors’ houses. He will willingly work on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. His vacations are requested on the 2nd, 4th and 5th weeks of the month. He would also like to be paid 15¢ a day. If this is all right, please let me know. If you request something different, please let me know what it is and I will try to make it work for both of you. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,

Miss Abigail Craig

Agent to Mr. Garren Craig

I was duly impressed. My 12-year-old was now representing my 10-year-old. And at a pretty outrageous deal of a price! Sidebar: Garren’s stand on not pruning comes as a result of us having 38 rose bushes in our backyard. He has seen the work that goes into these suckers, and he is standing his ground, to be sure.

I responded:

Craig Enterprises

Attention: Abigail Craig

Craig House, Bedroom #2

Las Vegas, NV

Dear Miss Abigail Craig:

On behalf of Ken Craig Industries, I appreciate you contacting me regarding the employment interests of Mr. Garren J. Craig. We are always looking for talented, dedicated individuals who are interested in providing quality work at a minimal cost to us; thus, keeping our stockholders fat and sassy.

I’ve reviewed the demands of Mr. Craig concerning his wages and hours of labor, as well as his request that his duties not include the pruning of rose bushes, nor maintaining close association with the neighbors. (We at Ken Craig Industries have a Tolerance Policy where we respect the phobias of all employees, including anthrophobia (the fear of flowers) or agyrophobia (the fear of crossing the street), which we have concluded is Mr. Craig’s reason for not wanting to talk to the neighbors.)

We have an extensive list of jobs that can be done on the Ken Craig Industries property, and we would be most interested in hiring Mr. Garren J. Craig to come work for us.

Regarding the salary arrangement, we would like to propose that we pay Mr. Craig 25¢ for each task he completes, with the understanding that he will place 50% of his earnings into our 401K Plan (a savings account), for his use once he reaches the age of 18 years.

If this meets with the approval of Mr. Craig, we would like him to begin work immediately, effective today, starting with the task of clearing his baseball equipment from the lawn, and repairing the very window through which he hurled a rock (being used as a mock-baseball).

I eagerly await the impending decision, and look forward to seeing you at dinner tonight.

Sincerely,

Ken Craig

President, Ken Craig Industries

After reviewing my letter, Abbie immediately scheduled a meeting with Garren. Then Abbie and I had a sit down and came to a verbal agreement that Garren will begin work immediately, but he requests that his paying for the broken window be removed from the binding contract. Agreed.

I know you shouldn’t mix business with family, but what do you do when they are this adorable and child labor laws don’t apply? And if we spend the next several Family Home Evening lessons on the principle of service, do you think my children will eventually make the distinction between “labor for hire” and “serving your fellow man?”