MOM: Adam Chose, Too

Aug 2010 Issue

By Nettie H. Francis
I love the story of Adam and Eve and all that it symbolizes. But lately (maybe because it’s summertime and all of my children are home all day) I especially appreciate Adam.

My life right now is one of work. From dawn ‘til dusk I spend my hours cooking, cleaning, caring and cooking, cleaning and caring some more. There is never a dull moment, nor a break in my duties. I don’t mind them. In fact, since I was little, I wanted to be a mother and do exactly what I am doing right now. However, what I have come to understand, more than ever, is that I could not do what I do without a good husband.

“How do you manage such a large family?” people often ask me, in awe.

“I have a very supportive husband,” is my immediate answer.

Behind every good man is a good woman. However, we often overlook the additional cliché: Behind every good woman is a good man. Thank goodness for my husband. He is a very good man.
We went camping last week. It was beautiful, but cold. During the night both babies woke several times. Three of the other children got up as well. It was a long, long night. However, each time a child cried, it was my husband that awoke, cared for them, and tucked them back into bed. Of all the displays of charity I’ve seen, that would be near the top. He brought the babies to me to nurse. I lay in the warmth of the sleeping bag, fed the babies, and then he put them back in their cribs. When morning arrived, we were both exhausted. But thankfully, we had shared the burden together.

In the Garden of Eden, Eve was confronted with the choice to partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good
and Evil. It was made clear to her that in choosing to eat the fruit, she would be subjecting herself to both good and evil, virtue and vice, light and darkness, pleasure and pain. Thankfully, after some discussion and thought, Eve chose to partake. She gave up her life of ease in the Garden of Eden for rocks and weeds and trials and children.
And in so doing, she also chose joy.

I am grateful for Eve’s example. Yet lately, I’m even more grateful that when she took the fruit to Adam, he partook as well.

He didn’t answer, “Sorry, you’re on your own in raising the children!” Instead, he joined her in her choice, and chose to carry the burden with her.

Women today make the same decision that Eve made in the Garden. It takes a conscious choice for mothers to give up their life of ease and accept the pain, physical discomfort and time commitment required to bear and rear children. They place the needs of family over self. However, despite the difficulties of raising children, many women are willing to do it! They accept the sacrifices required to experience the joy of children and families.

Yet, the example to us from the Garden of Eden is much deeper than Eve’s choice. When the Lord created Eve to be a helpmeet to Adam, Adam also made a covenant to be a helpmeet to Eve. He promised to help her fulfill her role as a daughter of God.

Women are “elect ladies,” according to D&C 25. But, they can only be elect ladies with the help of their husbands. Despite Adam’s covenant and example, willing daughters of God sometimes have their eternal purpose squelched by men. Well meaning husbands often require their wives to work outside of the home, when the wife would rather be with her children.

When Eve took the fruit to Adam to partake, he initially refused it. However, once Eve explained to Adam that she could not bear children without him, he partook. He agreed to follow her out of the Garden into a dark and dreary world. He agreed to support her decision to keep the commandments and raise children. He agreed to work by the sweat of his brow to support his family and his wife. He agreed to stay by her side and love her. And, in so doing, he agreed to experience discomfort, pain, and sorrow, but also joy.

Generally, a husband and wife must make the decision to leave the Garden of Eden together. They must consciously choose and discuss ahead of time—often, before they are married—to live on one income, welcome children into their home, and give up their own comfort for the blessing of raising a family.

As we honor Eve and her decision to partake of the fruit and bear children, let us also honor her husband. Thank goodness for Adam. Thank goodness for his choice. His decision was as vital as Eve’s. His is an example to all husbands of supporting the righteous desires of their helpmeet. He reminds me of my husband—changing diapers, comforting children, taking bathroom hikes—in the middle of a chilly, summer night. Adam’s example is perpetuated in the many supportive, willing, working husbands in the world.

Eve’s decision changed the world. Adam’s decision also changed the world. Thankfully, Adam chose, too.