For The Strength Of Youth: Start Younger, Grow Stronger

Nov 2010 Issue

By Krista Ralston Oakes
The standards of the Church are provided in the booklet, For the Strength of Youth, and are customarily presented to young men and young women when they graduate from Primary. Both parents and youth are highly encouraged to read, understand, and follow the guidelines contained in this useful resource.

However, many Latter-day Saints are finding the value of instilling these standards in children long before they turn twelve. While many of my same-aged friends have teenaged or adult children, our family currently enjoys a younger demographic. (Our son is nine, and our daughter is five.) Yet, even at these tender ages we find many opportunities to teach these standards – and we are also noticing eagerness in our children to learn and incorporate these standards. It seems that the world is reaching a point where youth are being exposed to the darts of the adversary at younger ages, and need to be well-prepared. They are ready, and we are able, to prepare and fortify them with gospel standards.

When our son was in first grade, he told me that he and a classmate had “broken up.” This term startled me as an unfamiliar phrase for a young boy. (I was also unfamiliar with this girl!) He further explained that “we were in love, and now we’re broke up.” I asked him what was going on, and he said that this girl wanted to “date and kiss” during recess, but he wanted to play soccer instead, so the relationship was not going anywhere.

After I sighed with relief, I had the opportunity to explain my feelings about being six years old and having lots of friends and fun activities to enjoy. I also expressed my appreciation that he was choosing to enjoy six-year-old things, and that he respected girls enough to avoid engaging in kissing. We talked about how wonderful it will be to someday hold the priesthood, and to serve a mission, and to fall in love and marry in the temple and be a good husband and father just like his dad. We talked about how his respectful treatment of the girls in his life would lead him to these marvelous opportunities. He chose a catchy new goal for himself: “No kissin’, ‘til after my mission!” We’re hoping that as he continues to repeat this mantra, the decision to be morally clean will already be etched in his heart before his dating years begin.

Last spring I took our five-year-old daughter shopping for a new swimsuit, in preparation for summer swimming lessons. My daughter is tall for her age, and we quickly noticed that while swimsuits in her size are still intended for little girls, they seemed to be designed for a much worldlier crowd. As we looked through the racks, my daughter commented to me, “Mom, these look like underwear!” “Mom, it looks like they cut a lot of fabric out of the back — maybe to make another swimsuit!”

We finally found a modest-cut, one-piece swimsuit that had beautiful colors and fit her perfectly. She thought it was the prettiest one of all, and pranced happily with me to the checkout counter. This was an opportunity to reinforce the concept of modesty at an age when it is much easier to teach. I praised her choice and explained that by choosing clothing that is modest, she is choosing to show respect for herself; and as she does this she invites others to respect her and notice her inner beauty as well as her outer beauty. We talked about our bodies and how they were temples for our spirits, and how our Heavenly Father is so happy when we take good care of them and treat them with respect. Although I cannot foretell how things will be in ten years, I prayed silently that I might help her continue into a lovely and modest fifteen-year old, rather than trying to correct her into being one later.

The First Presidency has promised that “as you keep these standards and live by the truths in the scriptures, you will be able to do your life’s work with greater wisdom and skill and bear trials with greater courage. You will have the help of the Holy Ghost.
You will feel good about yourself and will be a positive influence in the lives of others.
You will be worthy to go to the temple to receive holy ordinances. These blessings and many more can be yours.

Anticipating these great blessings for our children, we don’t have to wait until a child leaves Primary before we introduce, model, and testify to the standards found in For the Strength of Youth. We may hand them a new booklet at that time, but the guidelines should be old friends and familiar habits by then.