by Dave Ellis
My wife wants a goat. It took a lot of courage for me to say that. She would like to have a living, breathing, garbage-disposal-of-an-animal walking around our backyard. She thinks that we would be able to milk it and use the milk for cheese and, well, milk. I told her if she waits long enough, historically speaking, I will turn into an old goat. I’ve even shown her pictures of my grandfather for proof. She still wants a four-legged one.
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by Dave Ellis
The 4th of July is special in my family. Not only is it my brother Jason’s birthday but it is also my daughter Hattie’s birthday. We spend that day being thankful to live in a country where we can show our patriotism by setting off fireworks and waving flags that were both made in another country. But the most funnest (it will be a word if we all start using it) part of the day is lighting off fireworks!
Who here loves fireworks? Raise your charred limbs high!
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by Dave Ellis
My wife recently went to a conference out of town which left me alone with the five kids, for five whole days. That’s like a kid a day, if my math is right. But I wasn’t scared, this isn’t the first time an Ellis man has been left in charge.
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BYU Management Society Announces - An Evening of Excellence: Honoring Service
By Dave Ellis
If you know me (and if you don’t, you can for three easy payments), you know that I don’t have any hair on my head. This is by choice: I started shaving my head during the great follicle relocation era. That was when the hair on my head suddenly disappeared, then after much searching, was found on my back. So I did what any sensible guy would do. If I am balding then I might as well be bald.
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By Dave Ellis
It’s really no secret that I love to go to the grocery store, which really makes me different from most guys. In fact I prefer to shop, especially for the groceries and especially alone. Not that I don’t love my family, it’s just my kids ask for every item that they see. I know that this normal behavior has been going on for generations. It’s just that it’s different nowadays because it is annoying ME. People back in the day had more patience because they didn’t have microwaves.
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The Ten Virgins - Ten Women, Ten Stories, Ten Lessons for Our Day
By Dave Ellis
How many times have you said, “Why can’t I find a reliable monkey hair replacement system?” Now I’m not talking about replacing hair on a monkey, because that’s just crazy. I’m talking about wearing a little monkey on your head to cover a bald spot. I actually saw a guy doing this one day. I’m not sure he was trying to cover his bald spot but it sure did distract the eye. His pants could have been on fire and I wouldn’t have noticed because I was watching a monkey crawl around his head.
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By Dave Ellis
Have you ever purchased a very expensive tool and decided because it cost so much you should wear it around like a fashion accessory? Me neither. Yet thousands of people do this on a daily basis with their Bluetooth headsets. For those of you that don’t look at people’s ears, a Bluetooth headset is that Star Trek/Wars looking device that people wear when they are making a phone call. This month’s article is mostly a rant about those who wear them. I love rants, they make my keyboard all warm and clacky.
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by Dave Ellis
Years ago I wrote a Davey Award-winning article regarding the huge amount of food storage wheat my parents hauled around as we moved from state to state. What is a Davey Award? Oh, I made that up to reward myself for doing an article each month. It’s like a Peabody Award but made of ice cream.
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by Dave Ellis
You wouldn’t know by looking at me that I like desserts (OK, you would).
Throw in the magical Christmas time and all hopes of losing weight go out the window. Or maybe sliding glass door; it’s bigger.
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Mary’s Lullaby - Christmas Songs for Bedtime
Gospel-Centered Christmas Activities
A Refreshingly Different Holiday Tale: Christmas Jars Inspires Americans to Give in a New Way
By Dave Ellis
Most people have strong olfactory connections with the past. In non-scientific terms, smells make us remember. I know I think of mom’s cooking whenever I smell onions sautéing, or camping when I smell burning wood. I think of hotdogs when I smell bologna, because technically they are made out of the same materials. One is just flattened. Kind of like the difference between a hairball and a toupee.
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By Dave Ellis
I recently took a business trip via airplane. I can say ‘via’ because it sounds so continental, much like the breakfast I ate at the hotel. More on that later. I used to love to fly, pre 9/11 and post smoking allowed in cabins. That was a wonderful slice of time to fly, smoke free with fingernail clippers. Now I am totally paranoid that something bad is going to happen, and not in the ‘they are out of honey-roasted peanuts’ kind of way.
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by Dave Ellis
My wife doesn’t watch much television. So when she finds a show she likes, I run with it to get some quality couch sitting time with her. Yes I’m that lazy, I will watch a show that doesn’t interest me as long as I can sit down while doing it. Oh, and be with my wife.
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Fireworks safety & other myths
by Dave Ellis
Up in the red mountains there is a magical place where the groundhogs run free like the wind. I know that’s a strange statement to make. It sounds like the start of a novel, perhaps titled “Groundhogland II, Rise of the Tunnelers.”
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