
Sep 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
Most Church callings require you to stretch your mind and lengthen your stride. But every so often you find a calling where you just fit right in. For me that calling is nursery. It’s where I really relate to the people I serve; they are all tired, hungry and miss their moms.
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Aug 2010 Issue
by Dave Ellis
Our big family vacation this year was spent in Cache Valley, Utah. That place has it all if you are looking for cows and cow-related smells. Aside from farming there are some great hikes and these things called ‘trees’ that I forgot about since moving to the desert twenty years ago. The higher up the mountain you go the more trees there are!
Plus the more likely you’ll be attacked by BYU’s mascot!
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Jul 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
My wife tells me that I don’t sleep normally as I sometimes stop breathing. Basically my sleep mode goes into sleep mode. This startles her as she has taken some medical courses and told me that you need to breathe to live. That course was well worth the money.
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Jun 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
My wife likes to surprise me. Normally I like surprises, like the time she washed my car or trimmed my toenails while I was sleeping. This time I knew it was going to be a less desirable surprise because she was already bargaining with me before she even told me what it was.
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May 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
There are many facets to genealogy. This month I would like to focus on family stories, and by family stories I mean embarrassing moments.
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Apr 2010 Issue
by Dave Ellis
We dye eggs every Easter. You might say “Big deal! We do that too you awesome guy you.” Thanks for the compliment, but you don’t do it like we do. My kids don’t just dye eggs. No, they dye entire rooms. Easter 2009 made our kitchen look like it was a roadie for a hippie band revival tour.
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Mar 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
Every morning I am awakened by my organic alarm clock. Ah, you think I’ve taken ‘organic’ too far eh? Well it’s really my three year old daughter, Bonnie, who technically is organic, so there: I just saved the earth. Every morning she wakes me by saying “I need food! I want eggs, ketchup and my little fork.” This is not code people, she really wants eggs, ketchup and her little fork. In that order.
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Feb 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
My wife’s birthday was last month. I know, this is the first I’ve heard of it too. It’s not very fair to me when she tells me the day after and then acts all pouty about it. Of course I’m kidding. I was well aware of her birthday, I wore a string around my finger since January 2009 to remind me.
Nearly lost that finger over it, but it was worth it.
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Jan 2010 Issue
By Dave Ellis
Today I heard a song from my high school days playing on the “oldies” radio station. I am now living in a cliché. Pretty soon I’ll be embarrassing my soon-to-be teenage daughter (wife/editor comment:
He already does, but isn’t aware of it yet…)
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Dec 2009 Issue
By Dave Ellis
Last week I opened the fridge to find Thanksgiving leftovers rotting away and I got all excited: Christmas is almost here! I’m not saying that it’s the best alerting reminder for Christmas but maybe the first door on the Advent Calendar should have rotting Thanksgiving food. Just consider it.
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Nov 2009 Issue
By Dave Ellis
I belong to a popular web site, I can’t say the name here but they put your face on a book that’s online. It’s a place where you can see if your old high school friends look worse than you.
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Oct 2009 Issue
by Dave Ellis
A friend of mine, we’ll call him “Doug” (because that’s his name), recently told me that his bishopric had to address an issue in their Sacrament meeting. The issue was people bringing food to the meeting. I first thought it might be people not bringing enough food because I have a scarcity mentality; but really the problem is people bringing too much. When I first heard of this complaint my immediate reaction was guilt (thanks Mom). I wondered if my wife and I had crossed the line on Sacrament picnics. Since I am ever so helpful I decided to make a useful list to help you know when you are overstepping your bounds with food at church. I call it DAVE’S ULTIMATE GUIDE TO KNOWING WHEN YOU ARE OVERSTEPPING YOUR BOUNDS WITH FOOD AT CHURCH!
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Sep 2009 Issue
By Dave Ellis
To do anything in this world worth doing, we must not stand back shivering and shrinking of the cold and danger, but jump in, and scramble through as well as we can. – Sydney Smith
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Aug 2009 Issue
By Dave Ellis
One of my duties as World’s Greatest Husband (title legal in 37 states) is to bathe the kids. I don’t know who I ticked off to earn this duty (probably my wife) but it is not easy. Bathing kids is on the same level as bathing cats. Both involve hissing, hairballs and scratching.
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Jul 2009 Issue
By Dave Ellis
The first home my wife and I bought was built around the time I was born, so like me, it was in pretty bad shape. Bad plumbing, bug infestation and general dampness…and the house had these problems too! I felt a kinship. My wife likes fixer-uppers (Hello! Me again!) and she dug right in. I would come home from work and find various pieces of the house out for the trash. One day it was an old bar with Naugahyde padding, another time it was the ugly wallpaper and linoleum. But the next project was the worst, the popcorn texture ceiling.
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