By Dave Ellis
One of my duties as World’s Greatest Husband (title legal in 37 states) is to bathe the kids. I don’t know who I ticked off to earn this duty (probably my wife) but it is not easy. Bathing kids is on the same level as bathing cats. Both involve hissing, hairballs and scratching.

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By Dave Ellis
The first home my wife and I bought was built around the time I was born, so like me, it was in pretty bad shape. Bad plumbing, bug infestation and general dampness…and the house had these problems too! I felt a kinship. My wife likes fixer-uppers (Hello! Me again!) and she dug right in. I would come home from work and find various pieces of the house out for the trash. One day it was an old bar with Naugahyde padding, another time it was the ugly wallpaper and linoleum. But the next project was the worst, the popcorn texture ceiling.

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By Dave Ellis
Have you ever donated blood? I have. Lots of it. Most of it intentional. I figure it’s one of the only ways to give community service while relaxing in a chair.

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By Dave Ellis
I smell…(pause)…with my nose. I hope you didn’t think that I smell, even though I do, with my nose. Glad I cleared that up. I realize that last month I spoke about sneezing, so for the record, I won’t make this a monthly nose article. But please indulge me this month.

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By David Ellis
Every four years my allergies reappear, just like the Olympics. They used to be twice a year, just like Conference. But now I’ve built up immunity to whatever foreign objects roam this valley (tourists?). For some reason the fourth year still beats me.

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